Renew Anew

Well, the New Year has come and it is time to make those same old resolutions as with each year past.  Or not.  Perhaps it is time to make a plan instead of a resolution, as resolutions fail more often than not.

Trust me, I have failed many times but I continue to get up and try to move forward.  Be that in weight loss, fitness, self-awareness or in my career.  In each area, I have struggled, succeeded, overcome and failed.  Again and again.  But I keep on getting up, brushing myself off, and rising again.  It is one of my more positive character strengths, and I don’t know where it has come from but I’m very glad it is there.

So I have a plan.  A plan that is about forward movement and movement in general.

The plan includes a meal program that is a reasonable, Weight Watcher‘esque plan that will see a gradual weight loss progression towards my equally reasonable goal of losing 20 pounds in 4 months (by April 30, 2013).  More weight loss, earlier would, of course, be better for me but I’m not going to me mean to myself and require more than my body and life can give.

I desperately want to get back to running, but I’m scared to do so given how badly my feet hurt (and my plantar fascia is strained) on the floor at my workplace.

Anatomical diagrams illustrating the component...

Anatomical diagrams illustrating the components of the plantar fascia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I can’t jeopardize my work to run, despite that I think they would both be better off!

One of the biggest lessons I have learned is to be gentle with myself.  It’s a struggle for me to do that, as I am a typical Type A personality, but if I’m not gentle with myself who will be??  I have realized that I make mistakes, I fail, and I am human.  All of these are ok.  It is NORMAL to gain weight, lose weight and gain again or to succeed and fail.  You can’t know success until you fail, after all, so it’s all about what you learn as you go.  Having had a great deal of success and a great deal of failure, I’ve learned that it’s the getting back up that is the ultimate payoff.

I’m not registering for Weight Watchers this time out, though I think it’s a good program for many people.  Mostly I’m not because I can’t commit to the meetings or the costs at this point.  I’d much rather put my available funds into a good pair of running shoes that will see me through another 500 km.

I will do my first official weigh-in tomorrow (Jan 3) and that will be my starting point for the next few months.  It would be too brutal to do an official weigh-in today, the first day after the holidays, so I’m opting to be gentle with myself but realistic.  Tomorrow is good.  I’ll start there with a goal to be under 200 lbs by the end of April 2013.  I’m hopeful, but am more than that.  I’m pro-active. 🙂

So at this time of the year, I think it is important to be kind to ourselves.  To recognize that we may have tried before and not succeeded as much as we may have wanted, but that we can re-commit and continue in our journey to Renew Anew.

Renew Anew with me, folks.  We’ll get there!!


No Regrets!

Never have regrets because at one point everything you did in life was exactly what you wanted.

I believe and live this .  Yes, in following my heart or my head at various times I have caused great pain to some that I love, but if I have a regret, that is the only one – having caused that pain.

It’s the end of another year – a year of good, a year of bad and one of great indifference.  A year of highs and a year of lows.  And yet, as the end of 2012 approaches, I find that I have made some good progress and no progress at all.  Isn’t that how life goes?

It seems my dream of the other night came true, as last night I was presented with the contract to stay on at my new job after my seasonal contract expires.  Maybe they planned that as a Christmas gift, or maybe not, but it was a nice one.    Let’s face it, until I actually had a contract presented, I didn’t really believe that I would be staying on but Yay!  I have a job for the new year (and one I like)!  Still holding out hope for full-time work, but beggars can’t be choosers.  🙂

So enough with the pity party (Table for One!).  Let’s get on with making those changes that I had started talking about a few months ago when I started this diatribe.  Things will be looking up from here, so it’s time to get off my fat ass, quit complaining about my fat ass, and do something about it as I promised myself I would a year ago!!

From here on in, we’re moving onward and upward to find downward movement on the scales, and not in my head!  Forget about waiting ’til New Years, we are starting today!!


Life.  It is what it is.  Whatever it is, it’s all in how you take it.  I’m liking this attitude today:

Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.

Crazy how life goes.  I was on top of the world just a couple of years ago.  I was lookin’ hot and doing well professionally, making a six-figure salary and had a lot of good friends in my daily life who I cared about and who cared about me.  I had the support of my co-workers and was doing a great job at what I did.  I was also in line to replace my boss when he retired, and did that.  What a ‘top of the world’ kinda time it was!  And it was…. Awesome.  I loved that time in my life.

But life always has a way of smacking you down when you are feeling good, doesn’t it?!

Now, just a few years later, I am no longer lookin’ hot nor am I doing well.  Though at long last I have a temporary, part-time job, it’s no six figure salary but then, it’s no six-figure stress and daily crying jag either.

I just wonder sometimes how I’m gonna make it through the next few hours.  I feel like such an absolute failure at not having been able to handle things in my former job.  Had I perhaps been able to cope a bit better with the Boss From Hell (hereinafter referred to as BFH), maybe life would still be ok.  Not great, I’d hate my job and every minute of my day, but at least not where I am now – feeling helpless and defeated.

Did I mention I was a bit of a foodie??  NEWS!!

Not only is the Blackberry still a POS, but now The Hubby is also out of a job and I am once again the primary breadwinner, only this time minimum wage won’t quite cut it!!  I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to keep my home and/or my sanity.  But at least I have a few hours out of the house once in awhile to earn some $$, meet a few people and have a few laughs.  And there are many who have it worse, so (yeah, yeah!) one has to keep perspective on these things.

Had a dream last night that I got a job at a local school board.  Maybe that’s a sign that I stand a chance for this one!?

All of the top people who have supported me throughout my working career were in the dream, so maybe it’s a sign.  Even some of the people from my new, temporary job.  So maybe.  Yeah, maybe…

Ciao for now!  Rrraaawwhhh!



I remember what it’s like to value Friday’s as much as this dude (should we call it a dude?? – I dunno).  Now that I have a CER job (Customer Experience Representative, that is, thank you very much!!) I don’t have Friday’s that mean so much but THIS Friday does.  I have it off the sales floor and am, instead, meeting a good friend for a primarily liquid lunch today so, yes, IT’S FRIDAY, BITCHES!! and I LOVE it!!

(Is that too much yelling for this hour?? I don’t care, really, but thought it polite to ask….)

So I scored me my first paycheque in just shy of a year today.  I’m soooo happy about that, even if it is a decimal point short of where it used to be.  Yes, I was a six figure a year kinda gal who was miserable and was cheating, drinking and ‘acting out’, as they say.  Now I’m a three figure a year kinda gal, who leaves  work every day with a smile on my face, looking forward to going home to the comfort and security that it and the man that lives there with me bring.  I’m very happy to be in a position to re-evaluate and to simplify and again enjoy the life that I had created and had taken so much for granted.  Sometimes really bad things turn out to be really good things.

Next Newer Entries